3. Corridors

Not quite endless, but nearly so, they join one another at unexpected angles with doors that lead to nowhere and everywhere.

2. Music of the 1990s

The siren slips from her rocks and into the dark waters. The quils that decorate her amphibian length begin to vibrate. She plays a perfect simulacra of Bush's "Machinehead" as she begins to feed on the unwary.

1. Food of the 1990s

P'zone is back, spreading across continents, issuing in endless quantities from valves that cannot be closed. There is not enough dipping sauce to manage the outbreak. Our cities will die beneath the delicious weight.

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2018 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.