Not quite endless, but nearly so, they join one another at unexpected angles with doors that lead to nowhere and everywhere.
The siren slips from her rocks and into the dark waters. The quils that decorate her amphibian length begin to vibrate. She plays a perfect simulacra of Bush's "Machinehead" as she begins to feed on the unwary.
P'zone is back, spreading across continents, issuing in endless quantities from valves that cannot be closed. There is not enough dipping sauce to manage the outbreak. Our cities will die beneath the delicious weight.
Sleeping with AC is at this point a basic human right. But if you're one of the doomed souls forced to deal with global warming on a nightly basis, here's an hourly breakdown on how to get the most out of your inferno hellscape of a bedroom.
Some of the Internet's most veteran anatomy experts convened to discuss the stolen nude photos of Jennifer Lawrence and other beautiful celebrities.
We're spelunking through the movie catacombs this week. Join us, won't you?
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.