The entire set, exactly as it was during the final episode, complete with the skeletons and the giant, leathery egg.
Old skin, hairs, scar tissue, fluids. All of the things you produced in the 1990s, cataloged and preserved. Weighs approximately 1/2 ton.
Sealed in an airtight sarcophagus to prevent spoilage.
Fashioned from feathers and tin, this likeness plays saxophone and looks upon you with painted eyes that seem to hate.
Obviously, the first thing necessary to getting back in shape is buying a bunch of expensive knick-knacks.
Finally, a look at the candidate's long-delayed tax returns.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.