10. Hillary Clinton


That hair, those pantsuits, her tachyons entangled within the sphere, vibrating at just the right frequency so that they exist and do not exist simultaneously.

9. Arsenio Hall




Cloaked in steam, his eyes wild with the burden of an eternity no human should experience. He gathers strength from a woofing crowd of "people who have had their blood replaced with tiny machines."

8. High-waisted jeans


Bodiless and tireless, they move with an obscene purpose.

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