This article is part of the Foreign News Aggregators series.
Deadly Wildfires Linked to Lingering Contempt for Yankee Fire Bear "Smokey" and His Refutation of Collectivist Ideology
SCIENCE EXPERT: Minerals in Smoke Reduce Visibility, Need for Vitamin Supplements
Moscow Indoors: Museum of NKVD Torture Chambers Tops Museum of KGB Interrogation Cells
"Again!" Commisars Order 1,000 More Firemen to Charge in Waves at Wildfire
Tajik Bites Dog: Subway Riding Dogs Safe After Law Bans Tajiks from Underground, Aboveground, Sky, Heaven
Putin and Screaming Child Go Swimming in Hyper-Salinated Aral Sea to Prove Waters Safe for Further Uranium Blast Dredging
Tech Deal: Iran Trades Pipeline Rights to Gazprom in Exchange for Russian Peaceful Nuclear Warhead Technology
President Medvedev Announces Support for Plan to Build Chechen Mosque at Ground Zero of Ongoing Helicopter Rocket Attack in Grozny
Somali Pirates Drive Away Russian Aircraft Carrier During Russian Hijacking Attempt
Massive Deposit of Valuable Natural Gas Discovered Beneath Violent, Unhygienic Kyrgyz Population
New Law Protecting Children from Kyrgyz Child-Eating Gypsies Will Also Ban Kyrgyz from Land Ownership
Army Eviction of Illegal Kyrgyz Squatter Camp Erupts in Violence Following Attack on Dozer Tanks By Shouting, Surprised Kyrgyz
New 4D Television Only Available in Swimming Pool of Russian Oligarch's Underground Drilling Yacht
USA to Grovel Like Dogs for Access to ISS Mission Using Russian Spacecraft They Helped Pay for in 1990s
Pitiful iPhone Disconnects When Held Improperly Unlike Superior Russian iHorsk Which Never Disconnects and is Usable Also By Horse
Internet Blog Agitators Force Grainburst Classic Cola Maker Muscovy Sulfur and Aluminum to Deny Claims the Soda Now Contains Hydrogenated Sulfur Syrup
30% of Pakistan Flooded in Aftermath of CIA Drone Attack on Last Waterbender
Analysis: Total Economic Collapse of USA By 2011 Will Cause Fragmentation into 75 City States
At 84 Castro Credits Longevity to Cuba's Superior Healthcare System, Mafia Laziness
Upcoming Australian Elections Might Cause Total Collapse of Australia and Fragmentation into 8 or 9 City StatesChinese Milk Grows Breasts on Babies, May Threaten Russian Sex Slave Exports to UAE
FSB to Switch to 100% Solar Powered Scrotum Electrocutions
Novogornsk Mayor Declares Every Day St. Patrick's Day to Explain Bright Green Lake
Technology Man of Science Institute Announces Discovery of New Superior Russian Strain of Coal Called "Better Coal"
New Species of Bioluminescent Owls Identified by Survivors of Science Team Attacked in Thriving Wild Lands of Exclusion Zone"Wild Success": The Five Year Plan to Replace Russia's Aging Electric Infrastructure With Off-the-Grid "No Electricity" System
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
There is a witch hunt going on right now and I promise you that you will not find any witches in the pleasure room in my congressional office.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
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