This article is part of the Foreign News Aggregators series.
Missing Belgian Ambassador Feared Eaten By Ethnic Tajik Malingerers
New Skull-Shaped Gazprom Building to Feature Throne Room and Dungeon
Missed Protection Payment Suspected Cause of Last Week's Hammer Massacre at Hospital Nursery
Chechen Woman Submerged in Acid for No Reason by Police Commander of Moscow
Hundreds of Skeletons Found in Moscow River May Not Be Missing Prostitutes
Horrified Crowd Watches as Two Drunken Men Fall Into Lion Cage and Eat Lion
Navy Flagship Admiral Kuznetsov Returns from Baltic Sea Training Mission Upside Down and Melting
Novosibirsk Mayor Touts Half Percent Drop in Throat Slittings for 2009, but Figures Don't Add Up
Saint Petersburg Police Ordered to Fix Stabbing Crimes, Bayonets
Paint Inhalation Addiction Increasing Problem among Officers in Paratrooper Units
Shooting Death of Internet Journalist Ruled a Suicide by FSB Agent Who Shot Him to Death
Russia's Next Top Model Winner Sold to Dubai Brothel
Medical Institute Study Shows Russian Cannibals May Live Longer
Dog Head Kept Alive by Special Blood Machine Trained to Bark and Snarl at Ethnic Kyrgyz
Oligarch Vasily Yevtushenkov Plans World's Largest Limousine Containing Wave Machine for Horse Pool
Superior Microsev Xbox 490 to Play Blue Rate Discettes and Nintendo 64 Game Wees
Russian Professor Analyzes USA Map and Determines USA is Worst and Will Die Soon and Be Worse than Russia Forever
Video of Chinese Military Parade Scientifically Analyzed and Not Really Much to Brag About
Popular Support for Ukrainian Reunification with Russian Federation Grows in House of Vladimir Putin
Namibia Requests Aid in Building Oil Pipeline and Guarding it with Russian Tanks
Finance Report: Indebted USA May Sell Back Alaska to Pay China
Aral Beach Resorts Enlarge and Improve Year After Year
Romania Launches Campaign to Educate Students About the Health Risks of Injecting Kerosene and Hydraulic Fluid
Youtube Video Shows Two-headed Cat Born and Immediately Tortured to Death by Drunk Teens
Mistaken Identity Causes Drunk Fascist to Stab Tanned Son to Death
With college finals approaching, it's time once again for Microsoft Word autosummaries of all the old, boring books you were supposed to read.
"Don't you get it? What we have to understand is it's them or us. It can't be all of us, or one. It's got to be us, or they become it. Then we lose what makes us we."
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