This article is part of the Oldwallet.com series.


Displaying all entries for Shaggy Butte...


FREE ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT MEAL THIS SATURDAY

The Buntrees and Melfords are having their annual joint family reunion this weekend, and that means tons of free food. Since almost all of them are old, they usually don't raise a fuss and are just happy to have a young person around. Just look out for old Roger Buntree, because he thinks he knows all his relatives and will raise a stink if he finds out you're not related. It's going to be at Hightree Park around 11am. Bring stuff to carry food home in.

48 people found this post helpful.
Thumbs Down!Thumbs Up!


manly action

mr. oxford over on julian st has a lot of neat "male physique" magazines from the 1950s, and he'll let you "borrow" them if you dance a little bit. great way of checking out some awesome muscle men and getting inspired to get stronger. he also has some exercise equipment he'll let you use and he even lets you use his shower afterwards if you get sweaty (which you will cause it's kinda stuffy in his basement).

26 people found this post helpful.
Thumbs Down!Thumbs Up!


Odd Jobs, Good Pay

Mr. Cance over at 433 E. Walmack has a lot of yard work he needs doing. He'll pay you a solid $5 for a hard day's work, and he'll tell you dirty and racist jokes the whole time. I'm not racist or nothing, but he has some good points and people need to wise up before it's too late.

74 people found this post helpful.
Thumbs Down!Thumbs Up!


DOZENS OF OLD LAWNMOWERS

Mr. Graff has like A MILLION lawnmowers that he's always tinkering with in his front yard. He's got so many he hasn't even noticed that I've taken three of his prized beauties. None of them work, but hey, shouldn't be hard to fix 'em up when I get time. Really, we'd be doing him a favor taking some of them off his hands.

He lives in the brown and brick house on Mulch Rd. Look for the lawnmowers.

36 people found this post helpful.
Thumbs Down!Thumbs Up!


Pancake Breakfasts

Like pancake breakfasts but wish they'd pay you? The local shriners club has no way of actually verifying a doll wrapped up in bandages isn't a child burn victim.

I made so much money in one trip I broke down in tears of happiness, and the shriners offered to drive me & the mummy doll around in one of their little cars next parade! yrmv

98 people found this post helpful.
Thumbs Down!Thumbs Up!


SHORT STORIES, NO COST

There is an old man who lives at 443 Dunwich St and is has written literally tens of thousands of pages about an island he encountered while working as a sailor. He keeps them all in tons of journals lining the shelf in his garage (it's usually open). I read my way through many of them and they were really creative and imaginative.

I haven't been able to go back there in a while because of anxiety problems and terrible dreams of endless cyclopean vistas filled with dark, non-Euclidean architecture. But enough about me, go enjoy some free stories!

14 people found this post helpful.

Thumbs Down!Thumbs Up!


Claim the Bounty!

Mr. Walf used to be in the Fish and Game Department and thinks he still is, and he'll pay a $10 bounty for any coyote you kill. his vision isn't too good, so you can just bring him dead squirrels and big leaves and tell him they're coyote parts. If he's not buying that, just bring him a few dog heads until he trusts you.

He lives on Onion Street, near the old railroad tracks.

57 people found this post helpful.

Thumbs Down!Thumbs Up!


More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

About this series

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.