At some point in your life you may encounter a wizard or someone dressed as a wizard. Statistically speaking, this sort of thing is bound to happen to everyone at least once. Wizards are notorious for presenting you with tough hypothetical questions. How your respond may well define the rest of your life, if not make it unlivable entirely.
To help save you undue pain and torment, I have compiled a listing of the most common wizard questions. The sooner you memorize these, the sooner you can make the best possible choice when put on the spot by a wizard. I cannot tell you the answers, of course, because only you can know. The best I can do is simply give you time to think about this before it happens.
You develop an incurable condition where your hands are constantly covered with itchy, painful sores prone to bursting and leaking large amounts of pus.
You have in insatiable craving for fresh clams every waking moment of your life.
You mistake every non-white person you meet for Lou Bega and feel compelled to ask for an autograph.
The singer dove off the stage and crowd surfed in a sort of reverse funeral procession where the person being carried is the only one truly alive. Touching him I felt religious ecstasy and started speaking in tongues and requesting songs that didn't exist.
There's no easy way to put this, so I'll tell it like it is. Bouillon is died. He went missing before the weekend and yesterday I found his skeletonized remains at the bottom of the #3 soup vat during one of my swims. I thought the cream of mushroom soup had an especially nourishing taste, and a lot more clumps of fur and skin than usual.
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