At some point in your life you may encounter a wizard or someone dressed as a wizard. Statistically speaking, this sort of thing is bound to happen to everyone at least once. Wizards are notorious for presenting you with tough hypothetical questions. How your respond may well define the rest of your life, if not make it unlivable entirely.
To help save you undue pain and torment, I have compiled a listing of the most common wizard questions. The sooner you memorize these, the sooner you can make the best possible choice when put on the spot by a wizard. I cannot tell you the answers, of course, because only you can know. The best I can do is simply give you time to think about this before it happens.
You develop an incurable condition where your hands are constantly covered with itchy, painful sores prone to bursting and leaking large amounts of pus.
You have in insatiable craving for fresh clams every waking moment of your life.
You mistake every non-white person you meet for Lou Bega and feel compelled to ask for an autograph.
It's true. Grimace is human. God help us, we did our best for him.
Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!
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