You permanently lose all sensation in your genitals.
Whenever you talk, live shrimp begin crawling out of your mouth.
You get $50,000, but you have to spend two years eating only cottage cheese and ketchup packets.
You are convinced that you are in a musical and sing everything, even though you have the voice of a young boy going through puberty arguing about Transformers on Ventrillo.
Please consider updating your plan to include Trickle Down Antibiotics, the Millennial Meltdown, and other new options.
The most beautiful woman on all of Facebook is no longer just enchanting your Facebook feed. She's here, y'all!
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