You permanently lose all sensation in your genitals.
Whenever you talk, live shrimp begin crawling out of your mouth.
You get $50,000, but you have to spend two years eating only cottage cheese and ketchup packets.
You are convinced that you are in a musical and sing everything, even though you have the voice of a young boy going through puberty arguing about Transformers on Ventrillo.
Donald Trump is drafting friends, relatives, and even enemies into his fantasy cabinet.
This Halloween, the most terrifying house for policemen is opening its doors. If you're a cop, get ready to have nightmares!
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