You permanently lose all sensation in your genitals.
Whenever you talk, live shrimp begin crawling out of your mouth.
You get $50,000, but you have to spend two years eating only cottage cheese and ketchup packets.
You are convinced that you are in a musical and sing everything, even though you have the voice of a young boy going through puberty arguing about Transformers on Ventrillo.
Rock legend David Bowie has changed his identity with almost every album. Can you remember all these classic Bowie characters?
Tucker Carlson's idiot brother just called New York mayor Bill de Blasio's spokeswoman a "LabiaFace."
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