You permanently lose all sensation in your genitals.
Whenever you talk, live shrimp begin crawling out of your mouth.
You get $50,000, but you have to spend two years eating only cottage cheese and ketchup packets.
You are convinced that you are in a musical and sing everything, even though you have the voice of a young boy going through puberty arguing about Transformers on Ventrillo.
Sometimes it’s helpful to explain your allergies, other times you just need to apologize for sneezing on someone’s face.
Jim & Karen's wedding is gonna be a blast! Here's some hints you aren't invited.
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