Your senses of taste and touch are reversed and you spend the rest of your days getting punched and force fed sauerkraut.
Your entire music library has to consist of nothing but TV show theme song compilations.
Your entire music library has to come exclusively from Starbucks.
You constantly excrete a foul-smelling paste out of two discreet ducts on your forehead.
You have to constantly chew tobacco at all times or you will die.
You become convinced Leprechauns are trying to steal your wealth and dignity and lose sight of the important things in life.
You get $250,000, but you have to spend a year living inside an iron lung.
Trying to change history is a terrible mistake. Tearing down all of America's Hitler statues has left us confused about our nation's proud past.
Ask any cowboy and they'll tell you: The deadliest snake in the wild west is Lava-Filled Hole Shaped Exactly Like A Cowboy Silhouette
Ben Garrison's Cartoons are finally explained!
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