You have to work the word "herculean" into every single sentence you ever speak or write or your loved ones will all die horrific deaths.

Your senses of taste and touch are reversed and you spend the rest of your days getting punched and force fed sauerkraut.

Your entire music library has to consist of nothing but TV show theme song compilations.

Your entire music library has to come exclusively from Starbucks.

You constantly excrete a foul-smelling paste out of two discreet ducts on your forehead.

You have to constantly chew tobacco at all times or you will die.

You become convinced Leprechauns are trying to steal your wealth and dignity and lose sight of the important things in life.

You spend the rest of your days as an asexual libertarian string theorist with a blog.

You get $250,000, but you have to spend a year living inside an iron lung.

You get $250,000, but you have to save and store every ounce of your urine for one whole year.

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)

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