Dang, your wife died? That sucks! Hey, do they still have Mr. Toad's Wild Ride?

m forcing other patrons to leave / call the police

I wonder if it will have multitasking, the peeing man wonders to himself while peeing on something for fun, as he often did.

Martin Luther King Jr. is rolling over in his grave (because he's pretty sure there's a gay guy near him and he doesn't want to be turned toward the gay guy)

Congratluaten to all who graduated. I am so proued of you today.

Hi there, looking for info on how to eventually die or otherwise be murdered. Any help would be appreciated.

The grapples, the trash talk, neither of us could hold back.

– Jon "@fart" Hendren (@fart)

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    ‘Toad coin?’ wondered the traveler as he examined the pebble. It did not look all that different from any other pebble, and certainly nothing like a coin. ‘What manner of coin has no head or tail, and bears no seal or flag? Who backs this toad coin, the toad bank? The toad treasury!?’ The traveler laughed, but the toads croaked sternly back at him.

  • Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Spending $10-15 a day on perishable organic dog food is not a sign of a decadent culture in terminal decline, it's actually real good and worth it.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.