Dear Retarded Admins,
It's a beautiful act that is appropriate whenever a mom is with her hungry baby. No laws, no limits, no compromise.I am hereby notifying you, the admins of the Ultimatebreastfeedingmoms.com forums, that I demand the immediate and unqualified reinstatement of my account, username Chugsworth. I am done with the runaround you people are giving me.
APPARENTLY asking questions pertaining to breastfeeding and/or moms isn't allowed an the Ultimatebreastfeedingmoms.com forums.
This comes as a huge fucking surprise to me since it clearly states in the rules, and I quote, "No question is stupid." It also says in there, "You don't have to be a mom to participate in discussion on these forums."
Imagine my shock when I, acting in good faith as a non-mom, asked a few simple questions in a thread on the forums and had my account banned within minutes by the admin going by the name La Leche. I don't know if she has some sort of grudge or hatred of men or just the truth.
I asked all of my questions politely and I was not "trolling" as La Leche suggested slanderously in her email to my request for my immediate unbanning. Nor am I a "creepy pervert" as was the libel contained in a reply email from Naturalgranny.
I am just trying to help busty moms with their milky hooters. It is my passion.I am a goddamn lifelong advocate of breastfeeding. You know this if you read any of my posts. I think it is a precious bonding act between a mother and her motherfucking child and it is scientifically proven to help in the development of a newborn.
I also know breastfeeding is a naturally beautiful act and mothers deserve the right to breastfeed in public. I have strong feelings about this and I wanted to do everything in my power to help moms wanting to breastfeed in public places.
Don't forget, I offered moms that wanted a breastfeeding secure zone in the city the use of my apartment. Any time, no questions asked, just come on in and breastfeed your baby. What thanks did I get for that? A verbal warning! And guess what, dumbies, it couldn't be verbal because it was fucking TYPED.
Even after that I retained hope I had found a group of moms who understood the importance of breastfeeding at the Ultimatebreastfeedingmoms.com forums. Then I was banned for asking the moms a few simple questions. I guess inquisitive minds just aren't welcome at Ultimatebreastfeedingmoms.com
Since you saw fit to delete my questions after only a few of them had been answered by the real helpful users outside your fascist POS admins I am including them in this email. If you can answer them or repost them on the forums that would help some to repair the damage between myself and your POS MFing organization.
At the very least, you could tell me which questions I would be allowed to ask if you permit me to re-register to continue my breastfeeding advocacy.
I have had a great response from breastfeeding moms to my Poser comics about breastfeeding, superheroines, aliens, and the future.1. How many pints of milk can you produce in a single vigorous milking session? <-This one was sort of answered already.
2. If you could milk even more than you do now, would you?
3. If there was an injection you could take in your breast to make your breasts bigger and more productive, would you take the injection?
4. Have you ever considered the possibility of breastfeeding as your job?
5. Have you ever been milked by an alien or a dude in an alien mask?
6. Did you like it?
7. Will you wear a homemade cow costume?
8. How hard can you orgasm from breastfeeding?
9. Is it better when you use a breast pump or when somebody is sucking on your titties?
10. If you could have an injection so you could have more titties full of milk would you get that injection?
11. What if you could take a pill and turn into one giant milk-filled titty?
12. What if a dude who was naked could show you how to milk extra amounts and have like 25 orgasms while you're doing it?
13. Would you go to his apartment in the city?
14. If the Pentagon made a bomb that when it dropped it turned everyone into giant titties except for a select few elite "milkers" would you want that bomb to be dropped?
Help me create a state of the art facility for breast milk by donating your time and your passion.15. If you felt the titty transformation happening to your body could an elite milker have sex with you in his apartment in the city while it is going on?
16. Do you have a problem with basement apartments?
17. What about cellars?
18. Do you have a problem with living in a fetish barn?
19. Are you familiar with the World of Gor?
20. What are your feelings about decorative swords (particularly greatswords and katanas)?
21. Can you get rid of your baby easily?
In addition to these questions, I would like to be allowed to post my Poser comics and educational breastfeeding farm stories. they were a valuable addition to the community and a lot of people email me all the time on my hotmail telling me that they want more.
I look forward to having my account restored immediately.
I'll be waiting,
I was betrayed by the bernio bros, the cougars, and this guy from back page I hired to keep me from jumping out a window at the DNC.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.