If dolphins are so smart, why have I eaten so many of them?
They say cockroaches will be the only creatures to survive a nuclear war. I say we need bigger bombs.
The moose is nature's Canadian.
Nobody would pay any attention to a big ugly overgrown amoeba, so the jellyfish was like, "hey, I know, let's hurt people for no reason."
Can you think of anything useful a goat does that some other animal doesn't do better, and with a lot less attitude?
Next time you're marveling at the majesty of a peacock in bloom, just remind yourself that it basically has a huge boner right now.
Sea anemones are like worst-case scenarios of what alien genitals might look like.
Ask someone what worms are good for, and I bet you ten bucks they'll come up with some half-baked crap about plants and the ecosystem.
Did you know that the ladybug is neither a lady nor a bug?Or, shit, I don't know, maybe it's a bug.
Somebody get that chicken a fucking sandwich.
Special thanks to Zack Parsons for contributing a few animal insults after I ran out of ideas!
We're not going to solve gun massacres with bad manners, people.
The guns are gone. Now what happens to all those paper targets? Don't tell me you forgot about the paper targets. The ones hanging from little clips on fancy clotheslines at shooting ranges. With no guns to destroy these legions of paper bastards, they go unchecked.
A sign proclaiming "BACTA: DA FUTURE" marks the town's medical clinic
1998: I upload dave.pcx, and change the course of history
Set goals for yourself, and fulfill them. Absurd! Only in video games!
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