Wearing my ample bottom jeans.— Bryan Donaldson (@TheNardvark) November 30, 2012
i FIRMLY believe that beloved Super NES luminary "Funky Kong" woul choose Netflix over Hulu , in any Fucking universe you can throw at me— wint (@dril) November 30, 2012
Keep in mind the mall Santa has a human dick.— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) November 30, 2012
If being a good mom means things like: eats corn straight out of can, drinks a lot, is scared of mailmen... then YES I would be a good mom.— Lisa Bizzle (@Lisa_Bizzle) November 30, 2012
When I see women with really long hair I think "have you never been through a break up?"— Susan Burke (@ThatSusanBurke) November 29, 2012
Just found out the hard way that you are not allowed at The Grove until you answer Mario Lopez's three riddles.— Vanessa Ramos (@thatRamosgirl) November 28, 2012
Trying to change history is a terrible mistake. Tearing down all of America's Hitler statues has left us confused about our nation's proud past.
Ask any cowboy and they'll tell you: The deadliest snake in the wild west is Lava-Filled Hole Shaped Exactly Like A Cowboy Silhouette
Ben Garrison's Cartoons are finally explained!
Everything worth reading from Twitter in one handy, horrible place!