Wearing my ample bottom jeans.— Bryan Donaldson (@TheNardvark) November 30, 2012
i FIRMLY believe that beloved Super NES luminary "Funky Kong" woul choose Netflix over Hulu , in any Fucking universe you can throw at me— wint (@dril) November 30, 2012
Keep in mind the mall Santa has a human dick.— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) November 30, 2012
If being a good mom means things like: eats corn straight out of can, drinks a lot, is scared of mailmen... then YES I would be a good mom.— Lisa Bizzle (@Lisa_Bizzle) November 30, 2012
When I see women with really long hair I think "have you never been through a break up?"— Susan Burke (@ThatSusanBurke) November 29, 2012
Just found out the hard way that you are not allowed at The Grove until you answer Mario Lopez's three riddles.— Vanessa Ramos (@thatRamosgirl) November 28, 2012
With college finals approaching, it's time once again for Microsoft Word autosummaries of all the old, boring books you were supposed to read.
"Don't you get it? What we have to understand is it's them or us. It can't be all of us, or one. It's got to be us, or they become it. Then we lose what makes us we."
Everything worth reading from Twitter in one handy, horrible place!