Wearing my ample bottom jeans.— Bryan Donaldson (@TheNardvark) November 30, 2012
i FIRMLY believe that beloved Super NES luminary "Funky Kong" woul choose Netflix over Hulu , in any Fucking universe you can throw at me— wint (@dril) November 30, 2012
Keep in mind the mall Santa has a human dick.— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) November 30, 2012
If being a good mom means things like: eats corn straight out of can, drinks a lot, is scared of mailmen... then YES I would be a good mom.— Lisa Bizzle (@Lisa_Bizzle) November 30, 2012
When I see women with really long hair I think "have you never been through a break up?"— Susan Burke (@ThatSusanBurke) November 29, 2012
Just found out the hard way that you are not allowed at The Grove until you answer Mario Lopez's three riddles.— Vanessa Ramos (@thatRamosgirl) November 28, 2012
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
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