Humans are so boring. :P I mean, have you ever tried to date one irl? Me either, but I bet it's boring like in the game.

I, too, have often found myself thinking "I wish sex were more like a 'God of War' mini-game.

I am important, and I read this. You are important, and you will read this. Let's not do anything about these things.

Dear Bioware, please consider expanding this character I jerk off to.

lol wut

It wouldn't be an Internet discussion about young-looking animated girls without the old "she's actually 106" gambit.

Pick some different pixels to fuck, bro.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

About This Column

There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2017 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.