"Bearnoir" is a fucking moron, plain and simple.

"Pho" made a rookie mistake.

Oh "Fagtrot", what kind of crazy schemes will you get into next?

Good idea, champ.

HELP ME TERRORIZE MY GIRLFRIEND'S DAUGHTER. THIS WILL SURELY GET ME LAID!

Advertisers, you too can reach this prime demographic.

Same thing happens to me when I eat bad ham. What a trip dude.

"elister", we hardly knew 'ye.

ANIME FUCKING SUCKS.

The worst poster from any forum ever.

Seriously though, the Something Awful Forums are quite possibly the best forums the internet has to offer. The $9.95 it costs to register is nothing for what you are getting in return. We've got tinpot dictator moderators and admins, exciting stories about users shitting themselves in public places, and a whole assortment of crazy forums too hot for TV. Best of all, we have a sense of fucking humor. Most of us are smart enough not to take the internet so damn seriously, which is more than I can say for most of the nuts we feature on Weekend Web.

Special thanks to my FYAD friends Kade, New Jack Ruby, Shmorky, dings, petrockstealer, Boco_T, Allanon858, LAShock, Epicutioner, Tazzo, killertwinkie, dephile, Gus Hobbleton, Pretzelcoatl, k_killmore, Jadeite2, and Ali G for contributing to this report.

I'd also like to thank my GBS friends tfederman, knormal, idioteq, ratmankey, Marionette, Triplicate, Jymmybob, jingo, Chupa, ToasterThief, lipid, Henry Krinkle, Nexus42, Raskolnikov, admiraldennis, Zeris, Katto, waar, DEMAG, Keshik, Kaiser Bill, Prylex3, and Chikoshou for contributing to the Something Awful section of today's feature.

Do you know of an awful forum that should be included in a future update? Send in a link!

– Zachary "Spokker Jones" Gutierrez

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About This Column

There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.

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