This reads like a Billy Mays sales pitch.
You can't be going with that store brand cheap shit my friend.
The legendary McDonalds McRib sandwich has the same effect and is probably way cheaper.
This is also assuming that your mother has so little of a relationship with your father that she doesn't even point out the fact that her son is a 19 year old diaper wearing retard.
In case you read my profile online and got excited, I wanted to clear up any misunderstandings.
In a Something Awful exclusive, we reveal the true state of Darren Wilson after his harrowing encounter with Michael Brown.
There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.