Ugh, my life sucks. I have a roof over my head and the only thing I have to worry about is getting decent grades in high school. GOD, I WANT TO DIE. I wish there was a place I could go to vent. I hate my miserable life!
It doesn't sound like this guy hates his life!
This cum was too cold. This cum was too hot. But my own cum was juuuuust riiiight.
Yeah, that's why you masturbate, to "maintain the pipes". It has nothing to do with the fact that girls won't go near you. Nuh-uh.
You're telling me women don't get shit for sleeping around? What are you, 12?
Getting married right out of high school. Try it today!
It's like when a dog rolls over and gets a treat.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
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