You pop balloons? You monster...
Someone please think of the balloons!
I agree, but only because weather reports get me off.
You have a girlfriend?!
I found out my girlfriend has a fetish for popping balloons. I threw away all the forks in the house but I don't think we can make it work.
If someone told me that I would kick them the hell out of my party. We pop balloons in this house!
And with the help of the Internet you can find the right balloon fetishist for you. In the past these people were ostracized from the community and eventually killed themselves when they realized they will never fit in. Oh how I miss those days.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
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