There are no words to describe this forum. They should have sent a poet. Instead they sent some idiot, me.

Avril Lavinge is the kind of singer you kind of like but would be really embarrassed if anyone found out. I mean, if you're with a bunch of people and you hear the song you'll say, "Yeah, that shit is gay" but secretly you are enjoying it... Me? No, I hate that music. Sigh...


My grandpa used to say, "Beans always get 'em" before he died tragically in a bean silo explosion. In the end, the beans got him.


This is how shut-ins cope with being shunned by the outside world.


Isn't there a law that says 13-year-olds and under can't be on the Internet or something?


All women are gay on the inside. They are just never given the chance.


Sorry all my friend slots are filled you'll have to apply later.


Listen, I liked black people before it was cool...


Because every single post thus far has been making tons of sense.


More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

About This Column

There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.