When you die you get to read Penny Arcade all day.
I have yet to meet a real emu
If you're going to stalk somebody at least make it Jodie Foster.
I would cut myself if chocolate came out.
I loved watching those anorexia movies in 7th grade health class. It's literally all we did and I would jerk off thinking about that one actress who is in all the after school specials.
This is why you have to be 18 or older to vote.
Thanks to Secks, panascope, corpuscollossus, MagnumOpus, Horace, N-ER-GEE, tao, JellyS, Mitochondria Eve, Lazlowrocks, Hunkty Kunkty, big duck equals goose, Token Female, Cornballer, Malorkus and Cuddlebottom for helping me harvest images and organs.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.