When you die you get to read Penny Arcade all day.
I have yet to meet a real emu
If you're going to stalk somebody at least make it Jodie Foster.
I would cut myself if chocolate came out.
I loved watching those anorexia movies in 7th grade health class. It's literally all we did and I would jerk off thinking about that one actress who is in all the after school specials.
This is why you have to be 18 or older to vote.
Thanks to Secks, panascope, corpuscollossus, MagnumOpus, Horace, N-ER-GEE, tao, JellyS, Mitochondria Eve, Lazlowrocks, Hunkty Kunkty, big duck equals goose, Token Female, Cornballer, Malorkus and Cuddlebottom for helping me harvest images and organs.
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.
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