I want to receive God's huge load.
A mountain of posts is too much for one man.
Stop masturbating and install Linux. That'll solve all your problems!
Masturbation is a natural part of life! And uhm... so is spying on your best friend having sex with his girlfriend. There's nothing to be ashamed of... I think.
But I need my hand for tugging on my pecker!
Listen, God hasn't stopped loving me and I haven't stopped loving jerking off. Everybody is a winner here.
Did Louis C.K. jerk off in front of two female comics? And why are these ladies squandering an opportunity to learn from a comedy legend?
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
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