Maybe the kid won't grow up to be a complete pussy now.

I judge that you don't know what you're doing you stupid cunt.

I don't know what's going on here but I'm sure the circled part is very fascinating.

What a naive woman. If your husband can't jerk off to some hot pieces of ass every now and then, then he will probably cheat on your fat ass you ignorant bitch.

Kids love alcohol.


Christ, lady, was he up to his elbow in gaping snatch?

Life miracles more like tax credits.

Jesus Tapdancing Christ.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.