You know those dumb Budwieser commercials that salute the "Real Men of Genious"? Well I salute you Mr. Masturbating-On-The-Train-On-His-Way-To-The-Vatican.

So funny I forgot to laugh!

Well how much coaching do you need to learn how to cyber sex in public places?

WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF IMAGE DO YOU EXPECT TO HAVE HERE SWEETHEART?!

Yes, because "toothing" would be MUCH better than a steamy love scene featuring two attractive movie stars.

While I can imagine what the kind of men who do this look like. What I can't fathom is what the women who do this look like. I dare not seek out where man fears to tread.

Two million Brits can't be wrong!

Don't have a cow, man.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Lair Flair!

    Lair Flair!

    Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!

  • SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.