You may now kiss the bride and ride off into the sunset and begin a hard life of debt, children, and anger.

Someone please email me and answer me this question, WHAT IS WITH STUPID FINAL FANTASY FANS AND HORRIBLE POETRY? Please for the love of God.

It's odd that this person's title both says "Senior Site Staff" and "Newbie". Guess they just make anyone a moderator over there. That's why their no good kids are running wild.

59 chest, an 8 waist. And the inability to stand. That's my ideal Final Fantasy character.

Oh dear.

I do.

I'll end on this note. Look, I liked the Final Fantasy games. I played them, I enjoyed them, I was entertained. But never will I join a forum and actively post about it, defend the game, praise the game beyond a simple review or reccomendation. I'll purchase the soundtrack and listen to it in the car, but I won't write side stories about the characters. I won't role play that I'm Tidus and you're Rinoa and we're going to make love. I think that people become so involved in these things because there is something missing in their life. I have no solution for these people. I only know how to ridicule them.

Special thanks to my FYAD friends ampersand, T4u, Puffery, Spacebound, Mighty Stalker, redbeaver, Rozdower, Y2Kdogg, melonopolis, Grim, Fen-O-matic, Kiru, TyPepper, Nexus42, beejo, Shii, Cheesegod, Package Molesto, goferchan, dukeku, DoombatINC, yeahiamghos, Tazzo, and kliksf for contributing to this report.

Do you know of an awful forum that should be included in a future update? Send in a link!

– Zachary "Spokker Jones" Gutierrez

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