~*~*~*ElLie*~*~*~

~*~*~*ElLie*~*~*~, submitted by Da Bishop. I might be off my rocker, but I think the rampant scourge of LiveJournal has gone far enough and it's time to put an end to blogs and online diaries of all kinds. When you reach a point where you feel it's necessary to inform the Internet of every single hideous act you've committed as a failed human being, then I think it's time you have your Internet license revoked. And when you reach a point where you are writing incomprehensible shit like what this girl posts, it's without a doubt the proper time to put on your helmet and check yourself into Special Ed rehab, if there is such a thing.

pplz hur @ eljaaaay r fukazzz!!!1! i dun undaztandz it @ al.

OMGZ i dun no y al mah frenz r levn meh!!1 itz so0o0o0o00o nawt k3wli3z. i men, wtfux0rz/

i dydn g3t 2 go0o0o0 2 da britneh knz3rt so0o0o0o00oo dat sux0rz so0o0o0o0 loz!!!1! i men, wtf??? my bf andrew wudnt evn bai tik3tz 4 meh so i wuz lyk "wtfz andrew??!?!?!11? i thot u luv3d meh!!!1!" n he go3z "i d0do lUv3rzZzzZZZZZzz u elli3!!11!!!" n i wuz lyk "i no im so00o0o0o0o luvbl3!!" n hiii go3z "yaaa babiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!! OMGZ SERA CONERZZZZZZZZZ ON!!!!!!!! SHII ROX. onlii shiiz uglii!!!!! bonz babii out da doa git ^ n m000v dun mek meh akt da f00!!11 juz get ya stufz boi cuz im tyrd of hiirin all ur laiz!!!1 babii boi i no ul nevaa fid no0o0o0 stufz as gud as myn!!!!!!!!!!11! u mad ur bed n nau u haf2 sliip w/ meh babiii!!!!!!11!! i saw u der w/ myn on iiz!!!11!! JUZ BONZ!!!!!!!1!! omgz diz s0n r0x0rz azzzzZZZZZzz!!1!1! omgz loli3z im so0o00o herdc0rrr.

INTERMISSION TO PREVENT MY SPELLCHECK FROM EXPLODING.

um so0o0o0o0o0o diz iz wutz nu w/ meh:

forrest brok ^ w/ meh. i h8 him. im gld wr nawt goin out cuz HEZ SUcH a DiKKKKKK!!!!!11!!!! omgz. n i slpt w/ him 2. i thot boiz neva brok ^ w/ u afta u sliip w/ dem. OMGZ mebee hiiz gai n datz y. EW DAT WUD B GROS.

so0o0o0o den i skipd claz 2 hab sexx0rz w/ jamez but it wuznt fun so0o0o0o wen he azed me out i sed no. now im w/ carloz N HIIZ SMowkin!!!1 lOL3rzzzz. but ya.

i dd a math tezt n i dind dew so gud. i h8 mah techaaa. hiiz such a dumaz. y duz hii even botha? n den hii wuz lyk "i no u hav lurning probz, ellie,"

WTFux0rzzzz? i dun hav probz. dumaz. hi niiidz 2 dai. i h8 him.

I'll give this moron a break since she's only 14, but then when I was that age I was slightly smart enough to know how not to act like a retard revved up on PCP and given a colorful keyboard. This is an unholy crusade against everything sane and coherent, and it's truly sad that our education system is not allowed to use totalitarian-style violence to bring kids in line with common sense. Freedom of expression is fine, but as far as I can tell this girl is only expressing that she's stupid and needs to be taken off the Internet before she embarrasses herself and the human race any further.

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)