Hyper Space Communications and Technology International, submitted by Hypnotic. Despite the high-falutin' name, this site is really based around "orgone machines" that, I guess, are some sort of magnet machine from Oregon or something. They basically turn you into a superhuman in the way that retromutagen might transform, say, a turtle into a ninja.

WELCOME TO this exciting new technology that can mean for you the difference between average results and TOTAL SUCCESS !!!

Here you can find the most powerful application of a new technology. This certainly is exciting news for you whenever you are involved any type of self-improvement and success: in methods that you can use to effect positive permanent change such as motivational techniques, neuro-linguistic programming, fitness training, sports, body building, creative visualization, radionics, shamanism and magick.

Oh man, at last, a device that will give me success when I try for success and has real scientific applications in the fields of motivational techniques and shamanism. I can just imagine some company with morale problems bringing in a dude who has been using the one of the oregone machines.

"Hi, everybody, my name is Avi Goldsteins-with-Eagle and I'm a motivational shaman. I have been asked to give you a short speech and also perform a fire dance that will bring woe to your enemies. Now, the important thing to remember is unity. Spell it for me. U-N-I-T-Y. We're all in the mouth of the Great Crow together here folks. We need to work as a team to fall down in the rain and impregnate the earth with the life tree that grows into all of the animals and people."

Also, in case you were wondering:

Magick and Radionics are perfectly interchangeable!

Thank the Great Crow!

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2020 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.