Not satisfied with achievements such as "being really good at running with a football three years ago" and "being arrested four times for assaulting women," Kansas City Chiefs player Larry Johnson now aspires to be a Toon Icon. At least that's one way of interpreting his cryptic Web site toonicon.com, which opens with an animated Johnson at a press conference, fielding queries such as "Why?" and "Did you?" Unhappy with this line of questioning, Johnson's eyes turn paint-the-future white, then he becomes enormous as the sky flashes with ominous colors.
After that apocalyptic opening, the site moves to a futuristic navigation screen dominated by the words "coming soon." (Even the link to the site's designers results in a domain placeholder.) Accessible features include a photo gallery containing uncaptioned mysteries like this random fishing dude, and a blog packed with captivating images (LJ cavorting with terrible musicians like Asher Roth and a guy from Good Charlotte! "Crazy Asian candies!"), compelling insights ("some of these sports bloggers are corny as hell"), deft similes ("getting cut up like a julienne salad ya'll," "bad look to the drunk girl who kept trying to rush me like a linebacker"), and existential quandaries.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.