Revenge Crabs (Thanks, Samantha!)

The people behind Revenge Crabs won't actually send you a vial of pubic lice to sprinkle on the personal belongings of wayward spouses, boorish roommates or, if you're really a sociopath, random strangers. For the thicker sorts who wouldn't be tipped off by the implausible testimonials ("I'd be mad but that was some crazy payback!") and the proposed "school field trip to the crabs laboratory," there's the fact that the order form doesn't work. Still, it might be worth sending a link to the Revenge Crabs site to various people you know, so if someone writes you back and expresses frustration about his/her inability to complete his/her purchase, you'll know this person is not only gullible but also an asshole, and you can feel free to cut him/her out of your life, without any fear of genital-louse reprisal.

– Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller