"Thousand of woman have ghosts in their private area and don't know it," warns Haunted America Tours. This condition causes specter-infested crotches to glow and transmit "black energy." Uterus inhabitants include dead babies (probably stillborns who weren't properly placated with postmortem gifts) and deceased husbands, who live in constant fear of having their immortal spirits penetrated by some new dude's dick. Occasionally peni are commandeered as poltergeist flashlights, but usually males must deal with the daunting presence of the notoriously rude Bowel Ghost. If you're unsure whether your vaginal/anal misfortunes are due to malevolent phantoms or some less exotic culprit like venereal disease or colon cancer, follow this protocol: "Try passing an EMF Meter over your naked body. And recording EVP's by placing a digital voice recorder in your genital regions. You might be surprised at the results."
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.