I am Toni Lippi

Every time I try to pour the cereal into a bowl of goats milk/blood it starts to swirl and a tiny maw with a million sharp teeth forms into existence and sucks in all cheerios while a thousand doomed voices whisper vile things in my ear. I mean the box of cereal never empties but it's starting to get annoying because how am I going to get my daily fiber?


Business Gorillas

Has anyone started digging holes in their flesh and planting the cherrios in their weeping flesh like tiny seeds?

The roots go deep but I eagerly await for the fruits they'll bear.

Sheng-ji Yang

i fed my child the Cheerios + ancient grains. last night i was awoken by him standing at the foot of my bed, speaking in latin backwards and holding in his hand a bowl whose depth i could not comprehend


i keep eating ancient grains but i keep getting hungrier please send help my wife already ate the baby


my spoon turned into a snake this morning


I tried a bowl but they made me violently ill. i can't stop vomiting wasps i can't even go to the hospital like this please help there are so many waspss


Idk know if this makes any sense... But the cereal ate me. I was eaten by the cherios.

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2021 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful