As you look inside, you can't help but retch loudly at the horrible stench.
Three men are laying huddled together in the center of the tent, their faces dark and black. They appear to have been sleeping, but one slowly opens his eyes and meets your gaze. He is silent.
> Fold up the tent and stuff it up your ass along with the grave rocks, bloody snow, regular snow, pee snow, scope, severed dick, snow goku, those people, and piss soaked pants.
> Just stuff everything up your ass.
If there's one thing you know about survival, it's that you must always be prepared. It's better to have more than you need than find yourself under-supplied.
You eagerly begin piling objects into your anal cavity. Anything and everything is considered fair game. If it's not bolted to the wall, it must be in you.
In the midst of sliding one of snow Goku's bone arms between your cheeks, you feel a sharp, sudden pain on the back of your neck. The snow is now very close to your face, then all fades to black.
You are dead.
C. Everett Koop
>Ask if there's room for a fourth. If they wonder if it's to conserve body heat, say "sure."
>open the can with the knife and dump the contents on those smelly bastards
>Ask "Hot enough for ya?" and give a knowing laugh
You snicker at the man beneath the blankets, "Hot enough for ya?" He rises very slowly, eyes unblinking.
"No..." he says in a weak voice. "No, in fact... I am very... very cold..."
He is reaching for something beneath his coat.
> burn a drop of your own blood to prove you're not The Thing
> dance the dance of the 7 veils to him
You know the warmth of dance can melt the ice of any man's heart. Drawing from your past experience in theater, you carefully execute the seductive dance of the seven veils, grabbing the blankets from the ground to use as props.
While whirling and spinning, you notice one of the other men has risen from sleep. The other lays completely motionless.
After finishing, you bend over, breathing heavily and slightly exhausted.
You feel a sharp pain on the back of your neck. The last thing you smell is the filthy floor of the tent.
I have used my bot to create Olive Garden commercials. This is a bot I have. Don't question it.
Following America's defeat in World War 3, allied forces uncovered a number of experimental weapon prototypes in the hotel-compound of Trump's loyalist Space Force army. Had the war continued just a few more months, these secret weapons would have changed the course of the war.
Are there arrows in Tomb Raider? "No. Absolutely not."
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.