Android Blues

get up and go'lem: made up of fine silicate layers of vim stratified around a hard core of pep. has a slip of paper with the word chutzpah! written on it inserted in the back of its head. great dancer

Hick Magnet

Dagwood Golem

Two strong arms;
Slimy slices of spiced salami;
Three foot long of bread and lettuce
Mayo and hammy.
Blood of oil and vinegar both
Skin of crust, slightly toast
But the one thing this Golem requires most
Is pepperjack cheese as nails for toes.


kid golem: this golem will come out of a woman who has decided to let herself go for over a year after dissapointing intercourse. golem is humanlike in almost every way, but is a piece of shit just like his father. do you hear me craig? child services is going to find you and you will pay me that fucking money


Recycled Golem: Ever wonder what happened to golems after they get trashed by the heroic adventurers as they storm through your magically defended dungeons? Well, wonder no more! Our innovative, and patented ReGolem recycling and manufacturing process reduces waste and saves Dungeon Masters, like you, precious GPs! Order today! Recycled golems are at least %72 prior golem content.


shitty father golem: this golem is exactly like a father in every way except it is not there. your mother makes sure you know this.


the most elusive and most bashful of all golems. its rocky cheeks turn red hot at the smallest of compliments. critically weak to smooches

ron color

Flip Over Golem this golem gets drunk and tries to backflip at every party. I dont think anyone here summoned him he just shows up

– David "g0m" Dolan (@g0m)

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