Frank Horrigan

Sometimes late at night when I have to pee, I'll pee in the kid's bathroom instead of mine to avoid waking up my wife. Instead of flushing and waking everybody up, I just put the seat back down and throw a few sheets of toilet paper in there.

Bam, daughter gets blamed for it.

gary oldmans diary

Frank Horrigan

The Wizzard. Piss someone else's pants.


Just piss into the trashcan. No splash.

Wicker Man

LET me tell you, the sound of piss hitting a plastic bag is loud as hell.


Damn, forgot to preface it by saying to make sure there's plenty of paper first.

Cosmic Charlie

Really all you have to do is stand beside the tub, reach behind the shower curtain and the use that hand to hold your dick, that way when you pee it runs down the curtain to the bathmat below, which is expected to be wet anyway.


jfc just piss in the sink like a normal human being

Thanks to Frank Horrigan and the Goons for the tips and tricks! Soon we'll return to the bon mots and droll jokes for which SA is known! Not this week's Phriday, though, that's also bathroom-related.

– Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

About This Column

The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2018 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.