Glaucus atlanticus

What about the rogues??? Are we not even worth a mention? (And don't even try to tell me that we're included under "regular fighters" you classist bigot.)


Rogues are nothing more than scoundrels. There. I said it. If you guys want representation you really need to clean up your act and stop doing shady things! Perhaps then you can be included in our abbreviation (WCDM), but until then we can not associate with you lot.


A rogue is just a cowardly fighter. I'm sorry if being a fighter isn't special snowflake enough for you but that's what you are. Stabbing someone from the shadows is still stabbing them. Don't make up a special class for it just because you lack the upper body strength to wield a sword.

Seriously you guys are worse than rangers. At least they make a pretense toward different tactics and fighting style (but in the end they're still just fighters).

I think the issue being ignored here is Paladin Erasure. Paladins like me aren't acknowledged by either the main magic user community or the fighter community. Nobody wants to touch us but we're here and we're proud, dammit!


Guys I have a serious problem. What class should I go with? I like hitting things with swords but I also like to set things on fire and throw lightening around but I dont wanna be some loser paladin.


Ahem! Paladin is not a "loser" class. We are strong and confident. We wield magic and blade for the sake of good and the protection of the innocent. There can be no higher calling.


Oh god, here we go.

Look, you Paladins talk down to everyone all the time, letting us know we are sinners or whatever. You're all so god damned righteous about everything you do. "What the hell are you doing? Don't experiment on those children!" Oh yeah, like you never had to do some things for the greater good. You're all living in this fantasy world where we should all just do the right thing. Well guess what buddy, some of us might not enjoy killing homeless kids. Maybe we're doing the world a favor, trying different tests on them to see how far we can push the human body. Oh and I don't hear you complaining when we come up with straight swords +2 with bonus damage against the undead, but heaven forbid we also summon an eldritch horror that destroys a country. There is just no pleasing a paladin!


Ugh. I suppose next you're going to tell everyone about how anyone who identifies as "Lawful Good" is kidding himself.


The 'idea' of Lawful Good is absurd. You get so focused on justice of those who have committed wrong deeds or always doing the right thing no matter what that it allows you to either A) Be manipulated so damn easily, or B) Become so rigid in how you deal with things people just don't want to deal with you. "Oh great I can't hang out with Applewhite because he is just going to shun my illegal expedition into an ancient Tomb of the Gods that he isn't going to care about the freakin' sweet relic I found. So what if I let loose a greater evil that is still roaming the country side? This robe gives me insane fire resistance! I can basically solo a dragon at this point!"

Not to mention you are against killing people to get what you want? Wow dude, now that's immature.


This is my biggest pet peeve with society's treatment of paladins. We're rarely acknowledged in the media and when we are, it's only to portray us as overly dogmatic puritans who are perpetually one bad encounter away from becoming the next Arthas. Just because you read it on TVTropes doesn't mean it's true. Most paladins go their whole lives without bathing a whole village in the cleansing purity of holy fire, but no-one wants to talk about them.

And before you say anything, "killing people to drive out the evil within them because I want a world without evil" is not the same as "killing people to get sweet loot because I want loot" and if you can't see the difference then you are the immature one.


Oh yeah, I guess your moral character is better than mine huh? I am surprised I don't have to cast levitate for you to be able to hear me from that high horse you got there.

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2023 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful