Every week The New Yorker holds a caption contest in which the Internet's wittiest quipsters submit their perfect punchlines. Let's take a look at some recent winners and finalists:

Hmm. Clearly the Goons would be dominating this competition, if it weren't for The New Yorker contest's online registration requirements, which is the kind of thing they clearly hate, given that they not only registered for the SA Forums but also paid $10 to do so. Anyway, the Goons posted funny captions, and we're publishing them here, and frankly there should be no doubt as to whom the real winners are!

Bert Roberge

"I think he put too much English on it."

Libelous Slander

"I'm telling you, personal grain silos are the way to go"


"I'm a firm believer in open carry."


"Party sucks, I'm taking off"


"Mr. Sandman is sick tonight and asked me to bring you a dream but I have no idea how it works so I'm just doing whatever."


"I'm the impotence fairy. This is impotence dust. As you can see, I'm using quite a bit. This is not the normal amount of impotence dust by any means."


"It's me, your fairy godmother. Yippee, what fun, etc. Anyway, I conjured up a beautiful princess for you. Full disclosure, we hit a few clubs on the way over here and eventually the clock struck midnight and she turned back into ash. Here she is anyway. You two lovebirds have fun. Christ, I'm hung over."

Say Nothing

"Your wish to have Marilyn Monroe on your dick is granted... you know she was cremated in 1962, right?"


"The chainsaws are partially deflated."

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful