RegularTom posted:

Why has the US not dug a tunnel from NY, Alaska or Israel to the Mideast and begun drilling underground for oil?
Ahden_Lundsson posted:
I havent been keeping up with my brushing like I should.. I know im a horrible person. I been making changes to my lifestyle to turn around all of my unhealthy habits 1 by 1. Well its teeth time! On the lower edges of from front lower teeth there is some green buildup. I have tried to scrape it off with no luck. I have been brushing 3 times a day for the last 2 weeks and will continue to do so. My question is will this green go away or am I stuck with it forever? Is it something a professional dentist can fix?

I had some pretty horrible gingivitis, it looked like I just went 12 rounds boxing without a mouthguard but thats all cleared up now. YAY!

Please dont tell me im a horrible brusher.. I know that... Looking for an answer or a solution about the green color.
Davicloud posted:
If your grasp of the English language is so limited that you have to capitalize words for emphasis rather than naturally placing stress through sentence structure and word choice then you shouldn't be posting. Also, it's fucking "their".
NashAsh posted:
Eating Technique: If you're going for speed, just shove a whole wing/drumstick in your mouth and scrape the meat off with your teeth as you're pulling it out. With practice you can get the meat off cleaner and increase speed.
doorknobjohnny posted:
Now, I work at a daycare with children ages 3 to 11. Some of these children have some of the worst manners I've ever seen
The very first week I was working at this daycare, I was in the School-Age room. This is where the older kids come before and after school. One day, after school, a few of the boys are playing computer when I hear this gem.

"My mom got pulled over by the Po-Po the other day!!"

Unacceptable. Without hesitation I'm across the room, right behind him.

Me: "Excuse me, sir. What did you just say?"
Him: "What?"
Me: "Please repeat your last sentance."
Him: "All I said was 'My mom got pulled over by the po-po'."
Me: "Correct. Now tell me, why is this unacceptable?"
Him: "I don't know. That's what they're called. Po-Po."
Me: "Sir, they are called Police Officers. They make up a Police Force. Their job is to police the area. Starting right now, the word 'Po-Po' will never leave your mouth again. That is the single most disrespectful thing I've heard since I've become a teacher and I will not put up with it. Is this understood?"
Him: "Yeah."
Me: "Yes, Sir"
Him: "Yes."
Me: "Yes, Sir."
Him: "Yes, sir."

I then made a point of it, from then on, to always refer to my students as "Sir" and "Ma'am". The words "Yeah", "Nah", and "Ok" are forbidden in my classroom. The only acceptable responses are "Yes, sir" and "No, sir."

Never heard him say "Po-Po" again either.
More The Great Goon Database

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

About This Column

The Something Awful Forums are, by far, the greatest and most entertaining community on the internet. From the Comedy Goldmine to Photoshop Phriday, our forums are pretty much the lone island refusing to be engulfed by the sea of stupidity that is the internet. While sections like the Comedy Goldmine and Photoshop Phriday showcase the intentionally hilarious forum creations, we've failed to reveal the coin's flip side. The Great Goon Database is a depository of unintentionally amusing Something Awful Forum quotes demonstrating the darker side of SA. Special thanks to Goon "LittleJoe" for collecting and sorting these gems.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful