[FFE][Mad-Keg] - how can you crouch
Jeffery (Fragmaster) - Yes, I understand about asking your parents but first you should know about the game a little more. Anyway, crouching is easy, you do it just like real-life. It is falling that is not recommended.
[FFE][Mad-Keg] - if my perents letme rite will some one show me how to play it
Jeffery (Fragmaster) - Yes. Do you have good balance?
[FFE][Mad-Keg] - i can ride no haads on bike and wall across logs that move i think so what happens if i break some thing
Jeffery (Fragmaster) - That is wonderful! If you break something within the game, it will usually respond accordingly. If you crush something with your hands, you can feel it break but if you kick it you cannot. Some objects are unbreakable, such as building walls and railings since we don't want you falling.
[FFE][Mad-Keg] - why cause i might hert my self is that why u dont want me to fall over
Jeffery (Fragmaster) - Well, there are some issues with falling. One man jumped off a building, and he no longer can play. Another man, an inventor, was pushed down the stairs by his own shover robot. He can no longer play. A woman shopkeeper (lockpick speciality) tripped on her scooter and she could not play for two weeks and then she tripped on a sidewalk crack and never played again. She had bad shoes. But if you have good balance, no problem!
[FFE][Mad-Keg] - shit u can realy hert ur self i think i have good ballence but im usto herting my self i got hit by a big bilding brick got stiches and lots of other stuff if i get the modual at my house and i dont want it what happens
[FFE][Mad-Keg] - after a coppel of trys
Jeffery (Fragmaster) - Well, they didn't exactly hurt themselves... we are pretty sure they succumbed their being because of unrelated causes that had nothing to do with the game. We're ninety percent sure we crushed that bug anyway, we used Monolith's Blood 2 QA team, so, you know. Did I mention you'll recieve a Diablo II action figure set for testing as well?
[FFE][Mad-Keg] - if i get the modual at my house and i dont want it what happens after a coppel of trys
Jeffery (Fragmaster) - What do you mean don't want it? If you don't like the game? We are sure you are like it, there are powerups and if you get the high score then your name flashes green.
[FFE][Mad-Keg] - no i mean if my mum dosent want it
Jeffery (Fragmaster) - Ah. Well, we could pay her off by moving furniture around. That's part of the secret and how we'll get this sucker into people's homes. We come to move furniture, pay you a couple thousand dollars, and leave the capsule behind in the open space. Then people will have to step in due to curiosity and we'll make our money off monthly perscriptions. That's how cable got its start, too, by inventing television.
[FFE][Mad-Keg] - i dont umdestand
Jeffery (Fragmaster) - Simple economics. We pay people to test Diablo II action figures by swallowing them so we can sell them to infants, right? This is the same thing in reverse, we come to MOVE your furniture but we stay for you to SWALLOW a monthly subscription. So if you want your furniture moved, we'll do that and pay you (Which is an offer even a Russian cannot refuse!) and leave the capsule behind on accident. We have to give bread to make money off the drinks.
Jeffery (Fragmaster) - Do you have any more questions about the game?
[FFE][Mad-Keg] - i have no money to pay to u
Jeffery (Fragmaster) - No, in fact we'll pay you a couple thousand to move furniture. We won't even move it, just touch it with a glove. So mom will be happy. But are you sure you know enough about the game to properly play it? We're willing to make a large investment in you and give you this for free with a lifetime subscription. Let's see, I warned you about falling, and the quit menu problem... yeah, that's pretty much all you should be worried about almost.
[FFE][Mad-Keg] - sweet i will talk to my mum and telll u what she says ok i hops she says yes it sounds like fun
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Our Something Awful ICQ pranks target the worst and most idiotic folks on the Internet. Believe it or not, these ICQ pranks are all - unfortunately - real.