Wisdom can be found in unexpected places. I have internalized a handful of beautiful passages from arcade game flyers as my personal tenets. These words shape my life every day. They define who I am and what I do.
RAPPERS GO WILD
TO THE LATEST RAP SOUND
TENET II (Every time I set foot outside the house):
You never know
what will attack on you
WHY THIS???!!!! WHY US???!!! WHY???!!!
TENET III (Lying to my date as we undress, setting her up for disappointment):
EXCITING! MORE THAN 20 TECHNIQUES!
TENET IV (Lying to myself as I check the news every morning since 2016, setting myself up for disappointment):
IT'S FASCINATING! IT'S FUN CHASING MONSTERS
TENET VI (At all times, fraught with worry as I wonder...):
Are you getting all the game titles you're entitled to?
TENET VII (Every time I reinstall Fallout: New Vegas):
Mommy! Mommy! They have a video game just for me!
TENET VIII (When someone tries to play with my electronic cube):
He doesn't like anyone playing with his electronic cube...
Except his four brothers...
TENET IX (When I am thankful):
TENET X (Reflecting upon my motivations for doing literally anything):
TENET XI (Lying to myself as I open the document I planned to finish three days ago):
I'LL FINISH YOU TODAY FOR SURE!
TENET XII (Thinking about my body, which I have given the nickname "L-Brain", as I consider my lunch options):
Destroy "L-Brain", the artificial living body
Every now and then a forum member posts something so creative and impressive that I stop shouting in anger at my monitor. Today I'd like to highlight a particularly amazing post.
Advice you don't want from a maniac you don't trust.
If you are Will Wright or anyone at all please read this!
finally, some posts with class!
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.