Wisdom can be found in unexpected places. I have internalized a handful of beautiful passages from arcade game flyers as my personal tenets. These words shape my life every day. They define who I am and what I do.
RAPPERS GO WILD
TO THE LATEST RAP SOUND
TENET II (Every time I set foot outside the house):
You never know
what will attack on you
WHY THIS???!!!! WHY US???!!! WHY???!!!
TENET III (Lying to my date as we undress, setting her up for disappointment):
EXCITING! MORE THAN 20 TECHNIQUES!
TENET IV (Lying to myself as I check the news every morning since 2016, setting myself up for disappointment):
IT'S FASCINATING! IT'S FUN CHASING MONSTERS
TENET VI (At all times, fraught with worry as I wonder...):
Are you getting all the game titles you're entitled to?
TENET VII (Every time I reinstall Fallout: New Vegas):
Mommy! Mommy! They have a video game just for me!
TENET VIII (When someone tries to play with my electronic cube):
He doesn't like anyone playing with his electronic cube...
Except his four brothers...
TENET IX (When I am thankful):
TENET X (Reflecting upon my motivations for doing literally anything):
TENET XI (Lying to myself as I open the document I planned to finish three days ago):
I'LL FINISH YOU TODAY FOR SURE!
TENET XII (Thinking about my body, which I have given the nickname "L-Brain", as I consider my lunch options):
Destroy "L-Brain", the artificial living body
BLACK LIVES MATTER!!! NOOOOOOO!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? YOU HAVE CREATED A MONSTER, AN ABSOLUTE MONSTER!
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