The men in their bobbing landing craft listen to the rumble of artillery passing over their heads. They are seasick and tired and far from home. The landing ramps drop on the blood-washed beaches and they charge into the merciless streams of machine gun fire.

A private, barely more than a boy, is shot to pieces by a kraut gun. He slumps behind a beach obstacle. A sergeant takes the dying man's hands as the private manages a few trembling words, "I hope...my article...gets a lot of Facebook likes." The sergeant is moved. Tears well in his eyes. "They'll make it into a list presented by a dog." But the young soldier is already gone, his eyes looking up into the infinite list of GIFs in the sky.


You don't have to wait around for Memorial Day to follow Zack on Facebook.

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2021 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful