In college, most graded papers are a mish-mash of symbols and runes, the meanings of which known only by highly secretive and extremely poor circles of academia. But don't use that discarded The Mayor of Casterbridge essay to mop up spilled bong water just yet; let Something Awful offer this Rosetta Stone to crack the code and help you realize why it may be a good idea to consider a future in the barnyard arts.
|Caution: You are not Hunter S. Thompson.|
|Spelling is so bad that it's lapsed into an entirely different language.|
|I'll ignore this because you're attractive.|
|Opinion clearly stolen from parents / AM radio.|
|Personal essay waaay too personal.|
|Paper shamelessly stolen from Internet still has a banner ad for home refinancing at the bottom of every page.|
|Meaning unclear and possibly racist.|
|Paper mentions God in every paragraph, in a much larger font.|
|It's obvious you only know most words phonetically.|
|I would ignore this, but you're ugly and should be judged as such.|
Think you know who the most accomplished American in history is? I bet you don't. She just passed, and this year for Memorial Day we take a serious moment to remember her.
I can not believe the bellyachin' from these kids. "But Bill, we better stay indoors where it's safe", "but Bill, governor says stay away from winders"! That dog won't hunt, son.
finally, some posts with class!
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.