You'd rather be exhausted from bike riding than dig around your mother's pant pockets. Probably a good decision. You pull the bike out and open the garage door only to hear Hotel California blaring from the car. Looks like your mom left it running all night long.
You hop in the car. Looks like things are turning around. While wooting at your good luck you notice that your breath still smells like the Cool Ranch Doritos from last night. You contemplate making an important decision in which your path could go either way, but decide that there is no time for brushing your teeth today. Instead, you pull the car out of the garage and start off down the road. A great journey is about to start.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
Previous Articles
- ESPN Player Profile: Alistaire Olajuwon
- My Muslim Neighbor is Not a Terrorist. He is a Panther.
- Fake!
- THE NEWS MAGAZINE OF THE COMPUTER SCREEN, VOL. 7
- Subj: DAD BACK ON THE ROAD
