Mr. Wilson can assign homework, but the douche bag can't make you do it, you think, cracking your first Natty Light. You down it, then another, then another, then another, and now you're out of beer. You start heading down towards your car to get more, but your roommate stops you. "Don't worry, I'm cool." You tell him. He makes you say it again before giving you ten bucks. He needs more beer too.
You make it about fifteen feet in your car before sideswiping an entire block of SUVs and rusted out Hondas. Focus, you think, stopping the car. If you do that again, you'll get caught by a pig. Just relax. You turn up Asher Rosh, smile when he says how cool college is, and then hit the gas, immediately driving your car into an oncoming minivan. Fuck this.
You put it in park and get out while the driver of the van opens her door and falls to the ground.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
Copyright ©2023 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful