January 16, 1967
Love the new story but your title is too dark and confusing to put on our cover. I ran your outline by the boys in marketing and they came up with several alternatives that should appeal to an audience beyond the childless forty-somethings that make up the majority of our subscriber base. Blood clots claimed nearly 20% of our readership last year, so we have no choice but to adapt to a changing market with a shift towards easy-to-understand content and a new Beatles Trivia section Ray Bradbury is launching this summer. Please circle no more than fifteen (15) of your preferred title changes.
In closing, I ask that you please submit your response via the U.S. Postal Service, rather than concealing it inside human excrement and hurling it at my office door.
- Your Editor
Following America's defeat in World War 3, allied forces uncovered a number of experimental weapon prototypes in the hotel-compound of Trump's loyalist Space Force army. Had the war continued just a few more months, these secret weapons would have changed the course of the war.
Extremely proud over here! The bosses took notice and I have been promoted to 20 cages!!
Are there arrows in Tomb Raider? "No. Absolutely not."
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