HELLO AND WELCOME TO INTERNET. WE NO LONGER USE WORDS HERE, NOW THAT WE'VE DISCOVERED
COMMUNICATING WITH WORDS HAS BEEN DEEMED "DUMB" AND "BAD" BY THE MAJORITY OF THE INTERNET, AND NOW ALL OUR THOUGHTS AND IDEAS WILL BE REPRESENTED BY MICHAEL FUCKING JACKSON EATING POPCORN DOT GIF
IT IS IN EVERY THREAD, EVERY REPLY, EVERY TWEET, EVERY POST. LOOK AT HIM GO. HE JUST KEEPS EATING THAT POPCORN. WILL HE EVER STOP? I HAVE BEEN WATCHING THAT IMAGE FOR SEVEN HOURS NOW AND BOY, HE SURE LIKES THAT POPCORN. I REALLY BELIEVE HE DOES NOT STOP. EVER. EVEN WHEN I SHOUT AT HIM IN MY BIG BOY VOICE. WHEN THIS WORLD IS DESTROYED BY THE RIGHTEOUS RAINING HELLFIRE FROM ABOVE, ALL THAT WILL BE LEFT IS ROACHES AND MICHAEL FUCKING JACKSON EATING POPCORN DOT GIF. IF YOU FORGOT WHAT THE IMAGE LOOKS LIKE, LET ME REFRESH YOU
THERE IT IS. AMAZING. SUMS UP EVERY EMOTION, EVERY RESPONSE EVERYBODY COULD HAVE TO EVERYTHING. HE IS THE ONE AND ONLY. HE IS BEAUTIFUL, A BLESSING TO EVERY OPINION OR STATEMENT EVER. DON'T BOTHER USING WORDS, THEY'RE DUMB AND FOR GAY FAGS. EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE CAN BE SUMMARIZED AS
MICHAEL FUCKING JACKSON EATING POPCORN DOT GIF. CAN YOU GET ANIMATED GIF TATTOOS? IF SO, I WILL BRAND THIS ON MY FIRSTBORN'S FOREHEAD. FORGET THE MARK OF THE BEAST, THIS IS THE MARK OF THE BEST. A GLORIOUS IMAGE CONTAINING COUNTLESS THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS, COMPRESSED AND PACKAGED INTO A 336 KB FILE. LETTERS AND NUMBERS ARE TOO HARD TO REMEMBER. WHO KNOWS WHAT DIRECTION THE F GOES AT ANY TIME? I CERTAINLY DON'T, I SPEND A MAJORITY OF THE DAY WATCHING TEENAGERS UNBOX FUNKO POP FIGURINES ON YOUTUBE. NOBODY HAS TIME FOR WORDS ANYMORE, WE ARE ALL
MICHAEL FUCKING JACKSON EATING POPCORN DOT GIF. SEE IT. FEEL IT. EXPERIENCE IT. COMMUNICATION VIA TEXT IS NOW ILLEGAL. WE DO NOT NEED IT, AS WE HAVE TRANSCENDED TO A HIGHER EXISTENCE, ONE CONSISTING SOLELY OF
BECAUSE WHO NEEDS WORDS WHEN WE HAVE MEMES WE HAVE ANIMATED GIFS WE HAVE EMOJIS WE HAVE
MICHAEL FUCKING JACKSON EATING POPCORN DOT GIF. NO MORE BOTHERSOME THINKING, JUST
THE LANGUAGE COPS ARE COMING. THEY HAVE DETECTED WORDS I HAVE WRITTEN USING MY BRAIN TO COMMUNICATE. THIS IS
IS WRONG TO DO. MY WO
THE MICHAEL FUCKING JACKSON EATING POPCORN DOT GI
"WAO~" says someone in the audience, amazed by a simple layup. It's the thing that Americans yell when they yell, which is all the time.
Former Navy SEAL Jeff Caliber survived tier one special ops and is now studying creative writing at Sarah Lawrence College in New York. And fighting terrorists.
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The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.