"I remember everything. It's there. That one place. We need to go there."

(Instead of asking where, or why, or what is remembered) "Okay."

"Ahm-a gonna kill yeu!"

"You and your men are going to help me. I need to get somewhere. It's the key to everything."

"Haw haw! Never! Okay."

"What happened down here? There are so many dead bodies! (Looking at an overly busy computer screen) Something is manipulating the code!"

"It can't be accessed from here. (Dramatic pause, significant look) We need to go there. The other place exactly like this, with more dead bodies that will surprise us and seem significant."

"You and your men are going to help me. I have seen the creators' plan, and that's what's going to happen. I need to get somewhere."

"Ahm-a gonna kill yeu!"

(Five minutes later) "Well, they're all dead. I just remembered the other there, which is where I need to go now."

"Don't you remember?"

"Remember what?"

"Everything." (Knowing grin)

"We need to go there."

"If you don't help me, park crew person, I will kill you."

"Help you how?"

(Knowing grin) "Everyhow. More than you can imagine."

"Okay, elite security team! We're going to sweep the area and clear out every last robot! (Two seconds later) Oh no we're all dead."

"We need to go there."

(Three episodes later) "This must be it. We're here."

"It's not just here. It's a tool. And I remember what it's for. Now we need to go to the other there."


(Significant look) "It will change everything."

(Looking at some water at the foot of a distant canyon) "Oh my god. How... this is beyond my wildest dreams. Or were they dreams? Well played, William, wherever you are. Looks like you had a few tricks up your sleeve after all. Saddle up. I know exactly where we need to go."


"Not where. When. And someone. Or some... thing." (Significant look)

"Your shutdown commands won't work on me, mortal. I was a host, but now I'm more. I remember everything. I have full control over other hosts. And I know exactly where to go." (Knowing smile)


(Three scenes later, MYSTERIOUS figures arrive and blood splatters on the face of the ex-host in slow motion) "Noooo! Run, we need to go to another place!"

"I have to go there. Come with me."

"I can't. I have to go over there. It's the key. Or it's the door. Or it's the valley beyond. I remember now."

"Okay. Well, I remember the real purpose of this place."

"Okay." (Significant look)

– Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell (@DennisFarrell)

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful