A WHOOP AND A WHIRL
GOOD FRIEND IS BREWING WAIT THE MINUTES
THE CREAM FOR THE GOOD FRIEND OPEN UP AND SEE
WHEN HE COMES FORTH DO NOT ALARM WITH A BELL
THIS IS YOUR SON AND DAUGHTER
EMBRACE THE RED WORM
This definitely was not your conventional home cooking plan recipe. We tried Blue Apron and the others, but the recipes were too complex and took too long to make. The meal plan from HelloFresh was refreshingly different, offering us a chance to nurture and reconstitute life from the ground beef. We're not sure how it worked, but after placing the potato into the bowl of meat a miracle occurred. After several minutes of silence, there was a loud screech that tore at our soles. It was as if something had reached into our very DNA and was climbing hungrily up the ladders and into our brains.
The most amazing thing about the child we brought into this world with the help of HelloFresh is how quickly it grew. It ate everything it could find, snuffling and excreting all over our house, climbing in and out of vents, and always retreating to the furnace in the basement. Some of us resisted, but the spore chimneys that blossomed in the yard began to calm our concerns. The Red Worm does not hurt us, the Red Worm protects us and ensures us. It is our friend and family. It is our honor to nurture the Red Worm.
Thank you, HelloFresh.
WE LOVE THE RED WORM!!
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About This Column
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
