This article is part of the series.

Catch up on past Rustlr updates by clicking this magic Native American firetext.

Latest Status Updates

Cade Burdock is now listed as dead.
10 minutes ago. 8 Comments
Doc Beauzerau lol
Cowboy Charlie Holy Jesus! Can't believe he went through with that!
Slimy Morgon well i hope y'all are satisfied with yerselves. a good man got murdered by injuns on account of yer horseplay.
Doc Beauzerau i'm pretty okay with this outcome actually
Vaquero Esquerra ehhhh...
June Carson Good riddance!
Wild Ron Aw sheeeit! Guess I'll have to take a ride to Medicine Lake and tell that piss-brained idiot's ma and pa that they ain't got no livin' kin no more.
Father Gerald Oh goodie, another funeral! These are always my favorite.
Cade Burdock Seriously, pardners, this ain't funny no more.
50 minutes ago. 7 Comments
Doc Beauzerau i agree, you've got bigger things to worry about. speaking as your medical doctor, did you know having relations with someone like carson can cause irreversible damage to your loins?
Cade Burdock WHAT??? Can you fix me, doc?
Doc Beauzerau i could give you a poultice, but that'd only stave off the infection. what you need is some real big medicine, the kind only an injun can give.
Cade Burdock Red Eagle, can I count on you?
John Red Eagle Sorry, white man, I was out sick when the tribe was learning those lessons. Perhaps the mighty Lahontan Chief can help you out.
Yodelin' Red Paskiewicz be sure to give him a big ol' kiss on the mouth. That's how Lahontan men greet each other.
Cade Burdock Dangit, I hope ya guys is right. I'm lucky to have such good pardners lookin' out for me.
2 hours ago. 6 Comments
Cade Burdock What the heck!? I didn't write this!! How do I get rid of it???
Doc Beauzerau if i didn't know better, cade, i'd say your account got hijacked by a no-good chinaman
Blackboots McCoy once again the chinaman demonstrates his total lack of decency when it comes to respectin' the dominion of the white man.
Green Chaps McGee Jesus, McCoy! I'd of thunk you better than that. I've had nothin' but upstanding business relations with my opium dealer, who I might add is of the oriental persuasion.
Blackboots McCoy well if their dang games of chance weren't so rigged i wouldn't be so piss broke all the time.
Tallahassee Parcy The inkling I have to take the two of you imbeciles heads and smash them together is second only in my inkling to tear that heathen sodomite Burdock's throat out with my bare teeth.
Cade Burdock I had a real nice time with you last night, June. I don't care what anyone says it still feels as close to the real thing as I've ever come. ;-)
2 hours ago. 9 Comments
Doc Beauzerau hahaha nice job sending a private message, Cade.
Wild Ron Party's off, Cade. I wouldn't want to interrupt you and June's consummatin'.
Vaquero Esquerra ah hahahaha
Yodelin' Red Paskiewicz There are some trails no man ever rides back from, Cade.
Cade Burdock God daaaamnnnit! How do I get rid of this thing???
Doc Beauzerau give me your password, Cade. I'll get rid of it for ya.
June Carson Don't listen to them, Cade. They're just bullies with small minds and smaller peckers.
Cade Burdock Dang it, June. I don't need you embarrassin' me no further. Thanks Doc, my password is coolranchamigo
June Carson *sigh* all men are pigs
Cade Burdock Sounds like a great party, Wild Ron! I'll bring the beans.
5 hours ago. 6 Comments
Tallahassee Parcy well ain't that just cute. The two of you fruits is havin yourself a shindig.
Wild Ron Damnit, Cade! Learn to use Rustlr. Ain't no reason you gotta share our every endeavor with everyone.
Cincinnati Pete What in tarnation??? Guess ya weren't intendin' to invite me, Wild? Some friend you are.
Mad Bill Boothe Yeah I don't recall hearin' nothing 'bout no party, Ron. Guess ya don't fancy me a friend.
Cade Burdock Dang, meant to send this just to you, Wild!
Wild Ron Pete and Bill, it was only supposed to be a small gatherin', I swear. I wouldn't dream of throwin' a real party without ya guys.
Cade Burdock finally caved into peer pressure and signed up for this here Rustlr enterprise. Lookin' forward to keepin' in touch with all my posse.
7 hours ago. 5 Comments
Rapid City Russ about damn time, Cade. wondered if you was livin' in the stone age over there.
Vaquero Esquerra one of us! one of us!!!
Sooty Stan welcome aboard, Cade. had a mighty fine time ridin' from Cheyenne with you a few months back.
Hoppy been waitin' for you to show your face around these parts, Cade. Makes keepin' up with the posse easy as Slimy Morgan's sisters.
Cade Burdock still figuring everything out guys. they don't make this easy.

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

About this series

The #1 site on the ol' dusty information supertrail to sit a spell and connect with your posse.

Other articles in this series

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful