We all get those typical Nigerian scammers. They butter you up with a story and then request money. As I have a large amount of time on my hands currently (I won't bore you with why), I decided to respond. I decided to make my response only about diarrhea, but it opened up a deeper drama surrounding sexuality than I could have ever hoped to ignite. This will not be safe for work, as if going to a job was still a thing.

I initially offered him money. I knew from the get-go that he had dollar signs in his eyes. But I quickly changed the topic to diarrhea, because that's just who I am.

He felt compassion. Lovely. Seeing he was from Ghana, I decided to, myself, be from an African nation. But there is a problem in my country.

The pill emoji is apparently the one that cures diarrhea.

He offers me promise. I offered him money, but he wants none of it! His sole desire is to end my anal suffering. Or is it?

I'm not actually gay, but this guy doesn't know that. Also it's a shame to hear that herbs don't work on the LGBTQ community.

Again, I offer him money. This time one million dollars. He seems to really care. I can't wait to stick his leaves up my ass!

Creamy and everyday. Cool, love it.

A proper warning.

OK, OK, fine! I won't shove all your leaves into my ass. Fucking fine.

Yeah, sure pal. Wait. What? He wants to see my anus? Because of my diarrhea?? In order to trick me into sending him money??? OK, very well then. I googled the pic of "rib kid" who apparently murdered someone, and the first results I found for "my anus." Enjoy beating off to that, Kwame.

Apparently he found this attractive.

I need this diarrhea solved.

Fine, dude. No more getting rammed by my bros. Anything to fix the liquidly brown goo spewing from my anus.

My, my. How the tables have turned. Is Kwame a gay guy?

Cream me up, Kwame!

Turning a homophobe gay is well worth a thousand bucks and having to throw away some leaves.

I looked up a random town in Nigeria to be where I live. He loves me and my leafy brown butthole. I didn't say it back yet.


Getting a little "cocky," eh?

Not only is he now willing to travel to fuck my men's anus, but he will also deliver my diarrhea cream.

Believable address. I hope he doesn't go there to fuck me in my ass.

OK, I finally told Kwame I loved him. At least now he knows he's a gay man. I helped him through so much. I hope I get that diarrhea cream.

– rad milk (@rad_milk)

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