Whoops, I'm running a little late. Better finish off this cup of coffee and head out! No time to pee first, but that's okay, my commute is only about 25 minutes and I don't even need to go.

Yup, traffic's moving right along. I might even get to work a minute early, which is good, because now I actually do need to pee. Maybe I shouldn't have had three cups of coffee, ha ha!

Huh, looks like a slowdown ahead. Well, this area's always congested. Once we get past this next exit, things should start flowing again. "Flowing" heh... heh.

Wow, traffic's really backed up. We've barely moved at all. It took me like five minutes just to get out from under that overpass. It's okay, though, I'm more than halfway to work so once the traffic breaks I'll be there in no time!

Okay, try not to think about it. You don't need to go that bad and thinking too much about it is only gonna make it worse. Just ... look for something to distract you. Put on some music. There we go. What the fuck is the holdup with this traffic? Somebody must have had an accident.

Hmmm hmmm hmmm okayyyy. Doing good, doing fine. Whew. Yeah.

Fuck, nope. No. This is serious now. Man, I really wish I'd gone before I left. I saved what, like 30 seconds by not peeing? Even if traffic broke right now I'd still be late to work, what's 30 seconds? Shit. FUCKING MOVE ALREADY GODDAMMIT!

I don't know if frantically bouncing my leg is making this worse or better, but I can't stop myself.

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful