Sapient Afro

> switch to lowtax
> rally his twitter followers to raise their arms and send goku their spirit energy


You hear a loud hum from the other room. The wall closest to you blows outward violently, and the energized corpse of Billy's step-father floats through.

This is it. This is the Deus Ex Goku. The ultimate Detective Tool.

You hear the creature softly hiss from the doorway, but it seems otherwise unconcerned. The crunching sound continues, and you can hear the soft sound of blood spatters raining down on the carpet.

Performing the ritual flawlessly, you merge beings with the Deus Ex Goku. You never imagined you'd be forced to use this dangerous technique. Your vision burns with searing brightness.

You awaken as a new being. You feel much as you did before, but something more.

Someone speaks to you from inside your head.

"You saved me, man. You brought me back. It was so dark in there."

Your eyes shift to the doorway where the hideous creature is recoiling from the light.

You reply to the voice in your head.

"We won't let it happen to anyone else."

The creature hisses and releases its jaws from the officer's corpse. It begins withdrawing back into the doorway.

You stand alone in your silent prison cell.

No one ever believed your description of the officer's death. You were found alone in a destroyed apartment with his ruined corpse. There wasn't a scratch on you.

You tried an insanity plea at the advice of your lawyer. That sure worked out well.

You have grown to accept this fate. You've sacrificed the rest of your life to save those who could never have defended themselves.

You've avenged your parents. Billy and his family. All of the families.

You smile to yourself. "You did good, kid."

A gurgling rises from the toilet.

Your heart sinks.

Glory of Arioch

> >Retrieve The Ring from deep within your anus


> Jump into the toilet. Bring the fight to The Bendyman.

Japanese Phone Box

> sit on toilet and accept fate.


You narrow your eyes and set your jaw firmly.

In the back of your mind, you knew this day would come.

You drop your pants to the floor and sit down onto the cold metal of the prison toilet.

You hear the drain shake and groan beneath you.

You spit words full of hate from behind clenched teeth.

"Come and get me, you son of a bitch."

"Come right into my ass."

A single tear falls down your cheek, but you do not feel sad.

You feel free.

Yikes! Better luck next time, Goons! If you'd like to see the entire thread, featuring suggestions and even a few scenes that weren't included here, you can read it in the Goldmine Archives! And if you'd like to follow/take part in future adventures, stay tuned to the SA Forums and Atma's Twitter!

– Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller

More Photoshop Phriday

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2022 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful